ATTACK OF ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND GEEKS!

I know a guy who thinks he's Spider-Man...



I also know a hip-hop Boba Fett who scratches Star Wars tunes...



These are real people. These are my friends... and this is THE SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON, where a Yoda shaped back-pack filled with fruit roll-ups and pit stick is your survival kit to fun!

Where else can you find the cast and crew of "Pineapple Express" hob-nobbing with Stormtrooper #2 from "Star Wars: The Holiday Special?" Hell, where can you find ANYONE on this planet that wants to discuss "Star Wars: Holiday Special?"

(Humming to the tune of, "The Candy man")
The Comic-con can, yes the Comic-Con can!
The Comic-Con takes geeks from all over the globe and makes their world look good!

And what a wonderful world it is! A world of over weight Frodos, action figure fanatics, and hot looking Velmas all hitting the convention room floor for five fun filled days.

If you're going, don't! Personally, I've had enough of you poser-geek-Hollywood types trying to be one of us! Take your nonfat-soy latte/Paris Hilton look-a-like lay of the month and go back to Sundance! We don't need you. But if you ARE one of us, try checking out these hidden gems during your geekathon... instead of sitting six hours surviving on soggy dogs and soda in room H:

THE AUTOGRAPH BOOTHS:
Sort of a half assed, "Battle of the Second Level Stars." You WON'T find William Shatner here, but you WILL find William Shatner's stand in for "Kingdom of the Spiders!" Or sit back, relax, and have a cup o joe with the last remaining cast of "Hello Larry." They'll be glad you stopped on by!

THE "ALTERNATIVE" PANELS:
Why wait in line for six hours to hear about the latest film by the spawn of Satan, Micheal Bay when you can enter the informative, yet inlighting panel about "The Future of Little LuLu" or "Snaglepuss... straight or gay?" Head on over, "Exit stage right even!" to room 57A and find out!

HOTELS NEXT TO COMIC-CON:
After the nerding, head over to the hotel directly next to Comic-Con to talk shop with fellow geeks of all shapes and sizes. You might even run into a star such as Kevin Smith, Seth Rogen, or that robot chick from "Small Wonder!" Actually, if you DO meet the "Small Wonder" chick, ask her why even though she's a robot, she cried while burning her hand making strawberry shortcake in episode #71. I thought robots like her were CLEARLY programed to NOT feel pain. Obviously, this is a flaw within the "Small Wonder" writing team.

Ah, it's good to be a geek. See you there and, "May The Force Be With You."